Dreaming Audaciously

Religion

I’m just sitting in my dark room and just happened to be looking on the wall of a guy named Devin Bodden. He committed suicide recently and everyone posts on his wall everyday and reading them reminisce and pour their hearts out brings tears to my eyes. I sat and wondered what Devin was doing right now. What he experienced the moments before his death and where he went afterward. So many people are saying “rest in peace” and speaking as if he immediately went to heaven. Then I began to wonder. What does the church think? I love God and I appreciate everything he does for me but the church really twists my image of him and causes me to doubt him. The church would deem that Devin would go straight to Hell for committing suicide for he committed “murder.” What do I think? That’s bullshit. The church would say that no matter how much pain Devin went through in his life that he couldn’t bear, if he wasn’t sin free at his time of death, he’s go straight to Hell. What do I say? That’s bullshit! What kind of God would I be serving if he would allow a young man that was broken and couldn’t find a way and decided to end his life due to too much pain and overwhelming sorrow go to Hell after all was said and done? You can’t tell me that God was not watching over Devin and that God didn’t feel his hurt and God didn’t have an ounce of compassion for Devin. You can’t tell me that Devin is burning in Hell because he couldn’t hold on in this cold cruel world any longer. If my God is like that, then why am I even serving him? Why do I pray to him and worship him if he has no type of compassion for me? I believe in sin. I believe we all sin. But I believe that God’s love is greater than our predisposed tendencies to sin and no matter what, God does not want us to suffer. I’m tired of the church giving degrees of intensity to certain sin. I’m tired of the church having the last word. Here’s MY last word, church: God is love. Love overpowers all. God knew Devin would end his life. God knew that what Devin was going through up until the time of his death was intense and tumultuous. But God gives every person a purpose. I feel Devin was supposed to go with God on that day. He served his purpose. Look on twitter and facebook. Look through the streets. This death brought our generation together. How many people are discussing how Devin has impacted their lives? Every single one. Devin inspired so many to push harder and strive for better. Devin was God’s messenger. When he completed his task, God called his son home. Devin’s not in Hell. Devin’s with his father. Religion is a man made idea. Christianity literally means “Christ like.” We’re so busy trying to be just like Christ that we ignore the fact that he was perfect and it’s impossible for us to be. We ignore the fact that God would never forsake us. We make him out to be some cut throat ruler. I just can’t get with those ideas, however. I believe God loves us too much to let us part from him forever and suffer due to mistakes we cannot avoid. I don’t have the answers but I strongly believe God loves us all too much. So I KNOW Devin is resting in peace. I know it.